Oh dear. The title says it all....I want all the mirrors and refrigerators to go away. It occurred to me tonight that maybe all God ever wanted us to see of ourselves was what we could see reflected off of semi calm water. I've been so scared since I've come home about what I eat, how my clothes are fitting, etc...I didn't see myself, really, for two months. The camp mirror was a locker mirror covered in soap scum. My relationship with my body was based entirly on what it could DO, not what it looked like, and nobody up there gave a crap. We were covered in dirt and insects anyway. I needed all the food I ate and didn't have to think about it. I didn't think about water, either, it was a necessary thing and a pleasure to drink a tonne of it. Now here, there's an accessible fridge with too much food in it, far too many mirrors, and no physical labour to keep me busy for ten hours. Forty pounds down or no, I feel...large.
I am all packed for Wesley Acres, except my swimsuit (left at Desi's house) and some Tide. Now it's just a rush to see people, try to call my employers to get my paycheques, and enrol in courses, which York won't let me do. Damn you, York. If I could convince the boreal forest to smother you, I would. All right, thats all the stressed out ranting I'm going to do tonight. Tomorrow my mom gets me up early to go sort out Meaghan's crud at Trent U. I might try to convince the forest to swallow that school too, so long as it's feeling up to it.
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